The Education Minister presented Friday, February 6, 2015 new measures against harassment at school. 700,000 students in France would be affected by this insidious phenomenon. Deciphering the child psychiatrist Nicole Catheline.Contents of this article
- Harassment, humiliation that go unnoticed
- How do I know if my child is persecuted by his friends
- What to do as parents if their child is harassed by his classmates?
At home, your child is not the same. Sad, deleted, he sleeps badly, and his grades are down. Perhaps he persecuted and mistreated by his comrades.
Some ridicule, birds names, a sudden untoward claw ... It happens quietly in the playground or in the classroom ... In the eyes of teachers, they are children's games, a priori nothing serious.
"This particular situation carries with it the seeds of violence is nothing but harassment. It is a phenomenon about which little observes Dr. Nicole Catheline because these humiliations go unnoticed and the scapegoat is hard to defend.
They are bullying, blows gently, small aggressions apparently innocuous, that repeat. Acts that target a child "different", to create a situation dominated / dominant. "
A situation that can cause considerable damage on small victims. Especially as they moved into silence for fear of reprisals but also guilt.
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An isolated child is a potential victim
The assault is most of the time rejected and excluded games. They make fun of him when he gives the right answers in class, it remains on its side when formed sports teams, treated of "highbrow" or "fool" ...
"There is no typical profile explains child psychiatrist, but a separated child may become a potential victim. "
Stalkers have nothing to envy their victims because they need to dominate often hides a vulnerability. This guy behavior can be used to compensate for poor academic performance. It can also be a reproduction of the relationship between the parents, etc.
When a child becomes the scapegoat of his comrades, shame, guilt, or fear of reprisals often lead him to shut this situation to his parents.
- Recent sleep difficulties,
- the refusal to eat properly,
- a withdrawal, sadly,
- educational outcomes that fall vertiginously,
- tonsillitis and ear infections, abdominal pain ...
All symptoms that should cause parents to ask questions and to talk openly with their children. No need to beat around the bush.
A sudden change in behavior should alert
"There are no specific signs of harassment because the abuser is usually smart enough not to be spotted. This is an abrupt change of behavior that should alert parents. And whatever the field, "commented Dr. Catheline.
"We must ask clearly and directly to her child if someone bothers, hurts him to school, insists the doctor.
The child, relieved, and includes her parents are ready to hear, to listen and believe as they evoke the possibility that other children can be mean and tackle him. It already feels less alone ... "
The right attitude of parents of school vis-à-vis
"Parents will need to show patience and diplomacy because teachers often a little difficult to admit that he did not see anything. Some teachers still believe that these annoyances are nothing serious, they are part of school life, from childhood experience ... This is why it is best to go to talk with the director of the institution, "notes Dr. Nicole Catheline.
One can also apply to associations of parents or go through the nurse or school doctor. Obtained their contact details from the inspection of the academy. To them then get in touch with teachers to inform them of the existence of the problem.
"But no question of going directly solve its problems with the little stalker or his parents. Always appeal to a third party as in all fairness ", said our speaker.
The right attitude vis-à-vis their relatives persecuted child
Do not be sorry for himself but for the reassurance rewarding. It should be commended for having the courage to speak out. "We have to explain that there is a solution. For this, we must reflect together in order to understand why things happened there. No question of the guilt but explain that to win his freedom, he must get out of this trap and perhaps change their attitude or avoid endorsing the role of victim "suggests the doctor.
We can propose to invite friends at home, to include it in a sport, to a youth movement. Several people are less vulnerable than himself. If the child refuses, parents impose their decision because it is not about to leave it in this state that can degenerate.
See: The site of the Association for the Prevention of harassment phenomena among students