The most important thing to give support to parents who have lost their child, is a good listener. This starts with hearing the news. Sometimes the news comes via a message inside, for example by telephone or e-mail, or by mail. In such a message is often indicated that the parents currently want to be alone with their grief. Here begins listening: respect this wish. So go along and do not call if the parents do not indicate a wish to visit, how well do you mean maybe it.
Let's hear from you
Even if the parents want some rest and so you'd better not call, it's a nice gesture to let through a ticket to know that you are thinking of them and sympathize with them. Do not leave it at that particular card. After you send a message a while or for example - unless parents explicitly declare not to want - call once.
There needs to be much controlled. When a baby from 23-24 weeks gestation can be arranged in a funeral. Here transport needed. You can also think of cooking practical help in the form of a meal or doing the housework in the hospital or just after returning home). It's often things like grocery shopping and other practical matters where their head is not. It can also provide support. Make the parents can easy to just say 'yes'. Not "Can I help you?" but, "I'm going to the supermarket. What can I bring to you? " or "I know that you have a key under the mat lie. I'll just clean up his home tomorrow for you and vacuuming?
Caution: Do not do this yourself and respect 'no'. It can be very emotional to come home. Some parents helps if everything is tidy, while other parents just want to come home to a house where everything is exactly as they left it.
You can therefore a miscarriage same support as in past a deceased child.
A map will be highly appreciated at least in most cases.
The most important thing is that you do your best to provide support. Do this from your feelings.
- Name - name the name of the child or the baby. The parents have given this name carefully. You can say the name in your text or put on the front, for example, with "Day". Because "day" both a welcome and a farewell can be just as double as welcoming and saying goodbye to the baby, this is an appropriate word.
- A personal message - if you really do not know what to say, you can find online many proverbs and poems. Choose in this case one that suits both you and their parents.
- Give it time - parents will always, even if it's years later, a reminder of when their child or baby is deceased. There is also grief and loss involved. One grabs the normal course of affairs, while others need more space to grieve.
- Show proper understanding - until you've experienced yourself that your child or baby is deceased, you know how that feels. A comment like "I understand how you feel" may be misplaced if you've never experienced anything like it. Show therefore understands the grief, but also indicate that you can imagine what it will be difficult for them.
- Be honest - you do not know whether you should ask after a certain period to the baby or the baby? Tell them that you find it difficult to talk about.
- Ask parents - parents know how they feel and what they need. So ask them how you can support them.
- Do not give up - sent you a card and you dare not call to ask how? The first period after the death of a baby or child is often very 'busy' with cards, gifts and a funeral. The period that followed it often remains silent. In that period, distraction may be welcome, or a good conversation. You can send a message to ask if the parents want to do something fun, or just to come a time to talk.
- Great memories - get nice memories of the child or the baby. The first smile, a funny statement ... everything is good. Especially let the parents tell. When a baby dies at or shortly after birth, this is more difficult. Think earlier: "What a beautiful name you have him / her given 'and starts from a conversation here.