I need to make a public presentation, I was asked to give feedback when I was unprepared, I need to meet that requirement that I don’t agree with, I’ll work with that person who doesn’t get along very well…
When we are faced with pressure situations or difficult moments, we feel a lack of emotional control, isn’t it? After all, emotions mobilize us to action and they can bring out our best or our worst.
When we need to speak in public, for example, it can hit that anxiety where either we end up turning red and forgetting everything we had thought to say. Or it could simply be the motivation we needed to prepare better. Do you realize that this emotion can trigger positive or negative action? If you want to know more about public speaking, check out this article here.
Emotional control is nothing more than the ability to deal with our own feelings in these tense moments. But calm down there! This does not mean to stop feeling emotions, it is not just being cold and rational, but it is seeking a balance between reason and emotion.
I’m going to show you now 8 practical and foolproof tips for you to exercise and maintain your emotional control. By following these tips you can perform better in both your personal and professional areas. See there:
1. RES-PI-RA and does not freak out:
To be able to control your feelings and not let them control you you need to buy time! Time for your rationale to come into play and analyze the situation before only your emotional side makes the decisions.
Before answering that difficult email, stop and consciously pay attention to your breathing. That way you’ll oxygenate your body and rethink how you’re going to respond.
#tip: Sit comfortably, inhale 4 times and exhale 4 times, fill your lungs with air with each inhale, hold for 4 seconds and exhale.
2. Name the oxen:
When you have a strong feeling try to name it, ask yourself when you usually feel it and what it feels like physically. You only know how to deal with what you know, so it’s a great start to know WHAT you feel and then look for ways to decrease your intensity.
#tip: Here are some common feelings to give you a helping hand: Absorbed, Alert, Alive, Excited, Surprised, Happy, Calm, Satisfied, Serene, Worried, Confident, Anxious, Enthusiastic, Cheerful, Relaxed, Relieved, Scared, Agitated, Angry, Distressed, Annoyed, Apprehensive, Embarrassed, Confused, Angry, Depressed, Dissatisfied, Restless, Distressed, Disturbed, Discouraged, Nervous, Exhausted, Afraid, Frustrated, Furious, Indifferent, Angry, Nervous, Saddened, Dismayed, Dismayed, Troubled.
3. Ctrl + Alt + Del in mind is sometimes welcome:
Sometimes just breathing doesn’t calm you down, especially when you’re angry, the best way out is to get away, have a drink, ask permission and leave that environment. Don’t run away from the problems, but in some cases it’s better to think about something else, relax and then make the best decision.
#tip: Anger is one of the most genuine and out-of-control feelings we have, it’s better to interrupt a meeting/call/conversation than to extend it and end up untimely taking an attitude that you regret.
4. Tell me who you’re with:
Who do you spend lunchtime with at work? Who do you tell what’s happening in your life? Who do you live with? You have a strong influence on these people and therefore these people have a strong influence on you.
Want to have more emotional control? Prefer to be around people who have this skill more developed and avoid getting (when you have the chance to choose) with negative, derogatory, and intemperate people.
#tip: Make a list of your friends and people you live with daily, circle the ones that are good for you, and add to your emotional control. Put an asterisk on people who do the reverse. Now just make your strategy of who you want more (or less) near you.
5. Where is your B side?:
People with good emotional control not only have a balanced mind but a balanced life.
Are you a person who is totally focused on only one aspect of your life? Isn’t it time to bring a greater variety of activities? Even so, you can have an exhaust pipe and be at the mercy of blowing someone up one day because you kept too much for yourself.
In Emotional Intelligence classes I comment on the importance of doing a sport, physical activity, something artistic, some hobby that brings you this genuine satisfaction and serves as a balance for the difficult days at work.
#dica: “Yes Ligia, I know that, but I always sabotage” then gives her the article on autossabotagem and hands-on!
6. You are not your emotions:
Accept that you are nervous, anxious, sad, and allow yourself to feel it and not forgetting tip number 2 of naming it. But take out of your life this mania of repeating that you are nervous, that you are anxious, that you are sad…
We ARE not emotions and speaking that way only makes it difficult for you to develop emotional control.
#tip: I recommend for Emotional Intelligence students to record the moments when they felt negatively, but also record when they felt positive, to exercise your gaze on the good and bad things you feel. So you don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you are ALWAYS that way.
7. Is this mine?:
This situation that is stressing you or bothering you, does it really have to do with you? Because many times we make the mistake of making self-reference to things that are neither true nor have anything to do with us.
That coworker is talking quietly but not necessarily talking bad about you, that person laughed and it probably wasn’t you, that another one is doing a job that doesn’t concern you and so why would that have to take your sleep?
#tip: Two questions for you to ask yourself: “Is this mine?” and “Does this need to ruin my day?”
8. Knowledge never hurts:
If you liked this article and really want to develop your emotional control, do some research on the subject: Listen to podcasts, read books, take courses… Knowledge can never be too much and increases the possibility that you will hear or read something that arouses you to put in practice whatever it takes to gain the much-desired emotional control.
Count on us, we will always be here giving you the tips and support you need to bring your Emotional Intelligence to the fore, both in the professional and personal world.